Super Troll Islands for the SNES. Yea…I can’t believe I’m reviewing this, either.
Well, the story is that some evil mist came along and took all the color in the world away, so now you have to take your trolls and try to bring back the color. How do you do that? You walk on it.
Yes, you paint the world with your nasty, potato-shaped troll feet. Once you fill in enough color in the level, it’s over and you move on to the next one to do it again.
Before you get to advance to the next level, though, you’re met with something made specifically of nightmares. You’re met with…
And it just zooms in and out, over and over. It’s pretty terrifying stuff.
It Does Get Worse
The sound in this game is horrible. The jumping sound is obnoxious, so put on some music or something because you won’t wanna hear this shit all day. The music itself is happy and upbeat, but it’s also not very good.
Honestly, the sound in this game is almost like being physically assaulted by someone with a billy club.
And Still Worse Yet
I was warned that the Orange haired Troll was the fastest. I guess it’s true. However, it doesn’t seem to matter; they all control like they have butter and Crisco smeared on their feet. You’ll be sliding into spike pits and off ledges like a pro in no time!
Actually, you have a tornado power you can use to negate damage from the spikes, but you seem to only get three per troll. In most cases it seems to be used to color in the floors where spikes sit.
I couldn’t play this game for more than 10 minutes, so I broke my own rule of “Play it for at least somewhere between 1 and 3 hours before writing the review.” The controls are sloppy, the visuals aren’t bad, but the Trolls never take their eyes off you and it’s fucking unsettling, and the sound is an assault on the senses. All of them.
I think that about wraps this up. You should probably only check this game out out of morbid curiosity. Otherwise, keep your distance.
You all can thank my lovely girlfriend for requesting this review from day one. There you go, it’s finally up!
Well, now that that wraps up the special review for the 100th post, I want to say thanks to everyone who’s followed, read, commented, shared, and participated around here since I started. I know 100 posts isn’t much, and I’d definitely be farther along had my old PC not died, but not much I can do about that except carry on, and I most definitely plan to.
Next Friday the RE5 PC review will be rolling out. I do my fair share of bitching about the game. I know a few of you are confused at this point because my review of the PS3 version was glowing and shitting unicorns and rainbows, but you’ll see why on Friday.
I’ll also be updating the review list with other games I plan to shed some light on.
That’s all for now.
You folks have fun, take care, and I’ll see you next time.